Reducing Agent

When I first saw the advertisement, I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Lose all your friends or your money back”. I had never seen anything like that. I had an overdose of friends and always wanted to cut down the number of friends. But this method of losing all the friends intrigued me. Lose all the friends and start over again. May be this time I can choose the right ones. So I went to see this person.

Parry invited me into his house with a warm smile. I wondered how such a nice person would help me lose all my friends. Parry started explaining his method. First he wanted me to know the history behind his technique. Once Parry ran into somebody in his neighborhood grocery store. That man invited Parry to his house to discuss a revolutionary business plan. Parry was told that if he did that business for a couple of years, he would earn enough money that he could retire. As that person bored him with all the outcomes of doing that business with phrases like residual income, network of people, achieving your dreams, inner potential, pyramid of workers under you, the power of franchise, Parry was looking for the escape route.

He couldn’t escape without taking two videotapes that would explain the concept further. Parry said that there wasn’t any information but more spiel on people living rich and happily after doing that business. Parry said that he dreaded the calls from this businessman and hid whenever he saw him in the grocery store. It changed his lifestyle a lot in the following weeks – not answering the phone, shopping in a distant grocery store and so on. One day the phone rang as he was having dinner. As he let the phone ring, he reviewed the whole experience with a detached view and suddenly had an insight. He thought through the process and decided to try it out. Next day, he invited a few of his friends. As he explained the business plan, he made sure it was more boring than his own ordeal.

He tried to follow-up with his friends but could never talk to anyone. He realized that his insight was working when he received a thank-you note from the local Phone Company. They were thanking him for the sudden demand he created for their caller-id service.

Parry said that he had mastered that art to perfection and he could make people disappear. Literally. I said that would not be possible. Parry smiled and took me to his backyard. We saw his neighbor working in his yard. Parry called out his name. And in the next instant, that man disappeared. I mean, he just disappeared. He was faster than the Cheshire cat of Alice in Wonderland. That cat at least left a grin back for a while. I didn’t even see his facial expression changing. There was no “Poof” or no “jingle” with which people disappear in fairy tales. He just plain disappeared.

I asked him for some more demonstration to believe my own eyes. Parry took me to the riverside. He said he could show more in the grocery store but they don’t allow him inside anymore. We drove to the riverside and Parry was scanning the joggers and people who were fishing and playing in the water. He finally spotted a friend in a kayak and waved. And in the next second, the kayak was empty. It was as if it was drifting along empty.

As we were driving back, I asked Parry how long it took for the people to reappear. Parry chuckled and said, “that I will never know.”